Authenticity – Master It for a Powerful Personal Brand

Authenticity is very underrated, whereas being nice is very overrated.

How many of you were told to be nice to others when growing up?

A perfectly acceptable thing to teach, but then we also need to tell them, ‘Be nice to yourself’. Being nice to others should never be a compromise of your well-being.

Problems With Being Nice

Being Nice is not simply being good to others. It comes bundled with an overhead of building a persona where you should hide your true nature. Being nice also means not to offend others by saying certain things.

Being nice means suppressing your true nature and being the goody two shoes that everyone likes. It means someone who respects elders, irrespective of whether they deserve it or not.

Almost everyone lives a lie in front of others just so that you do not hurt their feelings. In doing so you decide self-worth based on how others are to you, instead of how you are to yourself.

People who are too nice to others are often the same who do not stand up for themselves. This takes a toll, every day this frustration eats you up, and when this frustration peaks, you break. The years of being nice may one day cause you to blow up. Not a pretty picture if you have ever encountered someone in this situation.

Be Selfish

Sometimes being a little selfish goes a long way. Being selfish does not mean only caring about yourself, it means being authentic, being yourself.

The kindness you show to others should not be at the cost of your well-being.

You need to realize to help others you should be capable of helping yourself. Your kindness is genuine only when it is backed up with happiness.

Being Authentic

Many are always nice and kind to others on their face, but completely different otherwise. This is not an uncommon trait, you likely are one of them.

Such people are not the same to everyone. They go to any extent to help the ones they genuinely care about.

The ‘Be nice to others’ teaching causes them to no longer be authentic in front of everyone. Behind closed doors, they have their own opinions and views. But they are scared to be their true self because they do not want to hurt their feelings

Lack of authenticity could often lead to hypocrisy because they try to please the ones they are with. In trying to please everyone they end up pleasing no one.

Being true to yourself is so much easier. You don’t have to carry on with a charade where you are worried about offending someone.

Getting The Right Company

I think it is better to keep the right kind of people close to you, and the others away.

The right kind of people are not people who have the same ideals as you. It means keeping company with only those people who know the real you. I have plenty of people who I am close to who do not think like me. They often criticize me for the way I think, and I respect them.

This respect stems from knowing that will tell you things as they are, not as I want them to say it is. On the other hand, if people do not like the real you, and stay away that is fine too, less clutter.

Authenticity Brings Down Barriers

Being authentic means being confident about your vulnerabilities, being true to yourself and in front of others about your flaws.

When someone shares their vulnerability and brings their guard down, they automatically bring others closer.

Nobody likes perfect people, since they are intimidating, whereas a person with flaws is more relatable. You might end up making a lot of friends by being nice. But you make more close friends by being authentic. This is about quantity over quality, and you have a choice.

So Should We All Be Awful To Others?

Is the opposite of being nice, being awful? Not.

You should be nice to people. But it should not be at a compromise of being genuine to yourself.

Also, not at the cost of your self-respect. Don’t get walked over by a cheating boyfriend because you don’t want to hurt him. Do not give in to bullying at work wondering,

‘What would people say?’.

Stand up for what is right, irrespective of whether it hurts someone else. It may end up helping them in the long run. Respect the ones who deserve it, be nice to the ones who respect you.

Authenticity in Branding

An authentic person always gets more respect than a person who is just nice.

Being authentic is a personality trait, only when you are true to yourself, can you be true to others. In today’s world where everyone is trying to impress others and establish a personal brand. The fastest and easiest way to establish yourself is to be authentic.

Authenticity makes it easy to get clarity in thinking. You no longer need to think about presenting yourself as different from who you are.

Being true to yourself also brings you to realize your flaws. You would genuinely work to overcome them since hiding them will not be an option. This helps you to build yourself up as a more confident person.

Easier Said Than Done

You might think it is easy to preach about authenticity, but tough to continue being authentic.

I would be lying if I said this is not true. In some situations, it is better to be nice and avoid a conflict. But these situations should be an exception and not a norm. Choose your battles wisely.

Conclusion

Days of being nice all the time are over. In today’s ever-so-competitive world the nice ones do not stand out, authenticity does. So go ahead, offend people who you think are wrong. Stop pleasing others at the cost of your own needs.

You can only be nice to others, if you are nice to yourself, and wasn’t this about ‘Being Nice’ anyhow?

This story was first posted on Medium.

You can also follow me on @thjijogeorge on all social media platforms.